Gaily World News Briefs #3

Here's another summary of a few stories of interest to gays with some cringe worthy jokes thrown in for good measure.

Click here for the Briefs.

Additionally I've got a few things coming down the pipes, one being a good little piece on Science Justifies Stereotypes. It should be done by the end of the day. (Hopefully :P)

More awesome reads!

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that I've written a bunch of clever tongue in cheek double entendres to spice up this week's Gaily World News Briefs... The bad news is that I've also written a few not clever tongue in cheek double entendres...

Please enjoy and find out all you need to know about the Health Initiative for Men!

Plus guess the identity of the mystery hunk!

Gaily World News Briefs #1

Hey guys

Just finished my very first edition of Gaily World News Briefs for my gay-job with the Health Initiative for Men! I'm writing it to keep people abreast on a smattering of gay news so check it out and stay informed!

Cheers

It's Alive!

Alright, so I haven't written anything for this in AGES but I have been busy... All of my article writing has been reserved for my job and fortunately with the relaunch of the website, THEY'VE STARTED POSTING THEM!

I work for the Health Initiative for Men which works to strengthen the health of gay men and enrich their lives. If you want to check the new website out every now and again I'll post when I've written a new blog.

In the meantime check out the ones I've already written:

On Sexual Assault


On Smoking


On Nutrition


And my favorite one is on Depression, it's my lived experience and means a lot to me to be able to open up like this...


Take some time, read, recommend and share these articles with others... (and let's help further the gay agenda)

HIV

So two people got on my case yesterday/today about not blogging anymore and i took the hint from the universe. First off, where the fuck have I been? Working.

Anyway, back to writing fun stuff at my friends request...

I went for an HIV test yesterday. Mostly it was done on a whim, but also I hadn't been properly tested after the 3 months you have to wait for the anti-bodies to show up in your blood. So while my risk was low (as I've only had one partner in over a year) there was still a chance that during 'the break' that b and i took we still may've caught something.

ANYWAY, let me say I have rarely felt that nauseaous in my life. I can do needles fine, but giving blood (or blood in general) makes me feel sick. So when I decided, on a whim, to get tested I didn't really have anything prepared to keep myself from fainting (usually a bottle of OJ keeps me going).

The nurse administering the test was a nice guy who did a presentation for the gay men's health seminar a few months back. It was nice to see a familiar face even if he didn't remember me. We exchanged some small talk, which was slightly more involved than the stuff you reserve for a barista or something, and he began asking my details, when was the last time I was tested, why i was getting tested, things like that. As he asked me these I kept myself thinking of other things which would keep me distracted.

The nurse asked if I would like the rapid, early, or standard test for HIV. Each of them have their own charm, and I had intended on getting the standard because I wasn't terribly concerned about the result with any urgency. Either I had it and have had it for an extended period of time, or I didn't. I had prepared for this kind of waiting game.

He suggested the rapid one instead, just to get it over with.

Now I had made peace with the notion that I'd part with gallons of blood (jk) and then wouldn't have to deal with the result for 2 weeks. But the rapid test lets you know in about 60 seconds. Instead of a needle drawing blood I'd just have a pin prick my finger for a scarce few drops.

The reality set in. 60 seconds can change your life. It had happened a few times when I was younger, and I hadn't really prepared myself for the prospect of knowing something of this magnitude in such a short time.

Numbly I agreed.

The nausea wasn't so bad anymore because now I felt fear. However remote the chance, there still are some scary statistics floating around out there. Was I about to add to them? I looked at the nurse and played a few scenarios out in my mind if I had been given a grim result. I envisioned a numb response first, stoic and collected, I'd be a responsible person and take ownership of the result. Of my status. I'd listen to the nurse tell me my options, the drugs, instilling within me the hope of modern medicene.

But then I thought of the much more real response that I would probably give. The polite shock would wear off and a new chapter in depressive self-destruction would ensue. I was not prepared for this.

I was distracted and obedient as the nurse sterilized the end of my finger for the test. A prick of the finger which didn't even register in my mind even as it issued a scarce few drops of blood.

After carefully collecting these, the nurse went about the test, transferring the blood, my blood, to one vial, then from the vial to a plastic tray. He added a second vial to the tray and the solution drained away. All in 60 seconds.

Then casually, amidst the small talk which apparently I was still taking part in, he said, "You're negative."

There was no relief because I still felt the fear and uncertainty as real as any other feeling I had felt that day. I don't think it'll leave me.

...and I think that that is a very good thing

Earl Grey out.

PS If any of my 0 readers any questions, about testing, my experience, support, or anything else regarding gay men's health I'm more than willing to talk (actually its kind of my job now :P)... In fact I think that may be a fun new purpose of this blog.

Unboxed

As I mentioned, I had a conference all weekend, 9-5, so it's like my weekend evaporated with fun things to do. Actually it was a good weekend, cept for B throwing up on our floor (he's getting sick and the alcohol didn't help much).

But like I said, good weekend. One of the better parts was a discussion on the stages of coming out because it created discrete stages and explained different needs each person will have during the phases. What was particularly nice was that it was a bit of a reminder about taking into account a person's lived experience and that not everyone can simply be told "How to come out" as though it were like taking a magic pill...

Other highlights were a discussion I had with one of the other guys about reltaionships, it was cute and refreshing. Mostly because I sometimes find myself so 'in a relationship' that I box the term up and don't reflect upon what it actually means to me. My partner in the exercise expressed his hopes and fears about his relationship and I felt somehow unboxed.

I think it was a level of superficiality with which I live my life. I'm quite invested in a lot of people and often get bogged down by 'what I'm supposed to say.' Like a pre-recorded message...

Friend: He broke up w/ me!
Me: Awww Shame! Don't worry, you were better than him anyway! You'll find someone...

That kind of generic glossing over makes me feel insulated from actualand full emotional responses. Hopefully I can find little ways to remind myself of this with greater regularity...

But I wish my partner success and thank him sincerely for his listening.

ALSO, FF 13 is here tomorrow! B pre-ordered, but said I wasn't allowed to watch him play because i'm a backseat gamer. It's true, I do offer my unsolicited opinion often (I do know what i'm talking about usually though, especially when it comes to rpgs) Let's see how long our relationship lasts now :P

Carry on...

O-Face

So b, my brother and I went to the O tonight. Twas nice, we danced despite my extreme sobriety, and b's extreme un-sobriety. in fact after half a bottle of wine and 3 doubles, he was more than a little drunk (it made for some confused dancing)

Oh, but I had fun. Apparently all the gays turned out tonight, a bunch of guys from the health conference i'm at (which i'll have to talk about tomorrow or something), C showed up eventually with a friend (a real charmer), a couple of daniels...

Anyway had a time, the conference is for gay men's health and leadership. It's really a great idea (and there's free lunch and tea), we learned aboot the history of gay liberation in vancouver and some statistics on HIV/AIDS (get tested everyone, at least once a year...). Then there was a safe sex talk from a nurse (all about everyone's fav sti's) remember don't have sex, because you will get clamydia and die. Finally a fellatio seminar where the intro was one guy going down on the other... well no, but almost, but they stopped at the underwear (which was still a nice show btw)

then everyone pass the banana (remember boys no teeth!)

Anyway, i'm just waiting up for my brother to show up, i'm tired tho so i'll write more eventually

Carry on

The Wonder Gay Years

I'm a nerd. I have been for as long as I could remember. It transcends things like playing a game of Catan with my old roomates while discussing continuity errors in Star Trek, but not so nerdy that I'd be playing D&D while speaking in Klingon. No my nerdisms stop somewhere in the realm of the impractical math area.

B knows what I'm talking about, we have spent many days discussing things similar to Barney's (from HIMYM) crazy/hot graph but in much greater depth (We hypothesized that there were more dimensions, with a possible non-real component). Another things we've discussed is convolutions of gay/straight people (gay people existing in their own space while straight people exist in theirs and while the two can't be directly compared, a case can be made that with the right algorithym, a transform can be made which would make them analogous)...

Anyway we think we're adorable.

Recently I've been asked to explain "Gay Years" to people. I use it in passing sometimes, often when explaining just how old I am.

"I'm 23...Which, in gay years, means I'm practically dead"

To say it's like dog years is demeaning and misleading for you see, gay years is a highly complex field of study. Original queer theory is actually only around because the issue of "Gay Years" was studied in the fifties as a method of prematurely aging radioactive waste. So if not a simple 1:xx ratio of hetero to gay years then how does it work?

When I was a young 'mo, a much older coworker said that the simple rule for being gay is, "Over 21 and you bust." So like blackjack, you gamble with gay years. What does this mean though?

Well, once you're 21, you're old news and therefore you're name gets blacklisted. People don't find you attractive anymore and there will be hair where there wasn't any before. What was once cute naivite is now sensastional bravado and stinging wit. Worse is you are now considered 'an older man' like the lecherous one's that you're warned about by your parents.


Surely you don't just flip a switch and become some awful old man though. There must be a process and not some great discontinuity.

Well it's not promising, but it has been shown that gay years grow exponentially between the ages of 21 and 35 ssy (Standard Straight Years). At 35 ssy, a gay man is 65.

While this revision is helpful, it is still not completely accurate. Many theories exist as to the true nature of gay years:

1) Gay years are actually a differential equation whose order dependends upon the age at which the first SSA (Same-Sex Activity) occurs.

2) Gay years are actually a set of complex numbers, and the non-real component is periodic, creating bursts of aging then anti-aging. This theory is thought by some to be perpetuated by drug companies and the validity of the evidence is questionable.

3) 42

Since this all of these theories are highly complex and require tremendous computational power it will have to be unravelled after pi has been calculated as a rational number.

Science aside, the real implications of the generalisation are that once a gay person reaches 35 ssy, he only exists under rare circumstances, like in the case of extreme celebrity.

But then what happens to these unpeople? Are they all ghosts wandering around clubs looking to suck the youth from the room? No, they simply "retire." This means that they move to a quiet gay mecca like Palm Springs. As they age further it is speculated that their age in gay years once again reflects their age in straight years, however this phenomenon has yet to be properly observed because nobody cares.

I hope that this acts as a warning for all the young people out there. One day you too will be old and it'll happen much sooner than the heterosexual society will ever explain. Now I must go, its nearly four and this senior citizen must get in line for his dinner.

Review

Apart from watching Ratatouille with B's family (delightful and with a positive message), I got to see some good old fashioned TV this weekend.

On the docket:

Caprica [S01E03]
...sometimes faith can be a victim of chance...
I like my sci-fi. It's no secret that I'm a tremendous dork at one point owning about 50 Star Wars novels (just one nerdism) And as hinted in my title of my previous post (clusterfrak) I love battlestar galactica, or at least the reimagined series anyway.

While it languishes in the popularity because it is maligned in pop culture as nerdy, it has got to be one of the safest bits of sci-fi in recent memory. While it may be because the style, tone, characters, and plot of the show are so dark and intriguing, and the relevance that it has that makes it really engaging... plus the actors are all gorgeous.



Anyway, this lovely little spin-off is a prequel that departs from the dire atmosphere of BSG and yet retains the complexity of characters. It's a sci-fi family drama, set decades before the first cylon war (when Bill Adama is only a boy) we get a glimpse at how humanity really frakked it up. While I can't do the narrative justice, I strongly recommend both BSG and Caprica.

Why I like sci-fi so much is that it can release the important elements of our reality to challenge our views (while giving us a healthy dose of escapism). I won't speak to the right/wrong of it all because it's so deep and complex, but one of my favourite aspects of Caprica is the Tauron enforcer (and uncle to Bill Adama) Sam...



Who is in a loving and stable relationship with a man and in this world where the term gay doesn't exist, no one has a problem with it... Not that they could really, as Sam is an assassin.

Skins [S04E01]
...Everybody Jesus says shut up!...
I like this show, sometimes. I won't get too much into the plot of this episode because I don't really remember all the nuances or names of the show. However, I will attest that it is an interesting show. Heavy into drugs, sex, and all things immoral, but it's the characters which made me like it. When they aren't being tremendously self-destructive, they're hilarious ("I'm not a hobby Tony, you're not taking up canoeing"). Tony, Effy, and Maxxie have got to be my favourites.



The first two because they're ridiculous and mostly evil scheming and plotting, they're really quite delicious to watch.

Speaking of delicious, that's why I like Maxxie.



Interestingly he's always just one of the guys despite being gay, and although he isn't as provocatively whorish as Tony, he does get some hot scenes.

In the second generation (like Degrassi, the show writes characters out and replaces the cast, and for skins at the end of season 2 the first gen made their exit) there are lesbians and more frakked up characters. There's talk of making an american version which I can't help but think is a bad idea.

Anyway, I've written two posts tonight and was hoping to sleep at a reasonable hour in order to get a jump on my wonderful week...

Stay frosty...

Clusterfrak

So this week is going to be a bit of a clusterfrak (bsg anyone?)

Monday
Tomorrow I've got a dentist appointment first thing, which is just a consultation for getting my wisdom teeth out so nbd. Then I've gotta run to class, cast some concrete samples (which is huge stress because its apart of a project worth 75% of my grade). The problem is that we don't really have a project but since concrete needs 28 days to cure to the strength we need to test... ugh i spend the better part of the last 3 years talking concrete, it's the bane of my existance.

After that, fly (figuratively) to Marine Drive to oversee an art install (some big statues), which is not really that critical because there are other more important people involved on site. But I still have to put in like 5 hours tomorrow at work. I (usually) work in an office where the dynamics are pretty unusual and in the next month or so we've got to change our location and I get to spearhead the filing (a system I inherited and only vaguely understand) and moving. So boo...

Then its back to school because it's Outweek! That means its the gay week on campus and I helped to organise two events. The first is a tea and coffee/wine and cheese where i figured out all the food/drink, unfortunately I won't be able to make the flag raising/tea and coffee, and will be just in time to help w/ the schmoozing at the wine and cheese. Hopefully I'll be charming and everything will go smoothly.

Then home to relax and see the Vivi (ma kitty) who is currently resting his head on my keyboard... its cute.

Tuesday
Another art install at work. This one is all on me, as the upper up's won't be on site. So I get to save the public from themselves (sigh, its shocking how much they can endanger themselves). Then more moving logistics probably, and some minor projects for the art.

Wednesday
Work again... then I have to run to a concrete plant for a field trip with school (boooo), then some other random project work for school.

Thurs
Wisdom teeth out! I'm going to be IV sedated which is a good time, but I'm taking the next 2-3 days off because of the pain. On the plus side I'm going to be high as a kite for the morning.
Unfortunately that's the night of the Bash which is the other event I've got to deal with for Outweek. It's a dinner dance for all the gays like a prom or something. Unfortunately I've still got to line up the sound system and lights so it will need to be done before hand (ie before i get my teeth out).

Friday is a rightoff because of the pain. But its the opening ceremonies for the olympics (frak) and so I'm basically going to need to be in hibernation mode anyway (its gonna be a huge pain getting anywhere). I'll probably end up writing an entire post about the olympics later.

In the meantime, my kitty is being ridiculously cute and it's time I made some tea so i'm going to enjoy the finer things...

More to follow...

Michael

I'm guilty of many things, today I'm guilty of listening to my iPod at work... and writing on my blog I suppose.

Don't judge me, office producivity is hardly the worst thing I've done... Besides it makes me a time-theif, which sounds kind of cool.

Rogueishness aside, I started listening to my iPod and dancing along to some of my favourites. I'm not going to list my musical likes, because that's what fb is for. Rather I'm going to talk about the songs that are of importance to me (the subtext of this post is don't judge me)

1. Michael-
...you're the boy with all the leather hips,
sticky hair, sticky hips,
stubble on my sticky lips...

I started listening to this sometime in early University (I think summer after first year). It's a gay song, which at the time was a big deal for me because I listened to what was on the radio for the most part. Shortly after I started listening to it my 'Michael' appeared. Michael wasn't his real name, but he was hot and when I think of that song I think about him. Well, no I think about the times on the mattress on the floor, the wine, and the awful movies...

2. Boys of Summer
...And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone...

The Ataris cover of this came out in gr 11-ish for me and I lurved it. Mostly because it was on the So Long Astoria album which was what I was listening to at my first pride parade. Anyway, naturally the memory of that day still hides out in my mind and I get all excited thinking about the first boy I ever asked out. This time part of the magic was that he was someone I had a crush on, and I saw him at the pride parade w/ his friend/bf and I could NOT believe it... I didn't ask him out until I was safely in the friend zone though, many months later... and he said no... didn't stop us from fooling around many months after that, but we've gone our separate ways since.

3. A Martyr for my love for you
I could stay awhile, but sooner or later I'd break your smile...

The White Stripes are perhaps one of my favourite bands. Ever. Their lyrics are poetic and ethereal that make me wonder if I'm baked when I hear them. Martyr is just one of the songs that I love by them, and I chose this one because it speaks to the impossibility of an infatuation. It's really very tragically beautiful.

4. Mad World
...and I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...

Long before Adam Lambert sang this, it was on donnie darko. A movie near and dear to many angsty pretentious teens, donnie darko is a great movie for a number of reasons. Apart from having the talented jake gyllenhaal, it was a movie that the bf and I love. We bonded over it early and would text each other cute little quotes from it... I'll do my best to limit the ones about he and I as there are alot (probably to be listed on another day.

5. Fem In a Black Leather Jacket
...With his long long hair and pouty lips
cute little butt and sexy hips...

Unfortunately this was a recent addition to my list of relevant songs, so the memories and emotions to this one are slightly more superficial, however I think that if I had heard this song when I was 14ish I would be a different person today. I could picture myself being all kinds of secretive about this the way I used to stay up on monday nights to watch queer as folk... Anyway, Pansy Division, they're amazing, you should probably listen to them... now...

There are a litany of other songs that really get me, but right now my mind is filled with the L section of my shuffle (that is, La Roux, Lady Gaga, Le Tigre, and Les Chanson d'Amore) gayest letter ever. There may be another post later, when I'm struggling through other tasks at work, but right now I've got to get some stuff done.

OH, and the name of the blog is from an Oasis song Part of the Queue:

...I'm having trouble just finding my soul in this town
But I’ll keep on trying I keep on trying...

Oasis is wonderful...