I'm a squeamish person, I took the gauze out of my mouth so i could get some juice and i damn near passed out from the icky...
I'm going to go lay down and sleep for a bit longer, hopefully kitty is cuddly and not bitey...
More to follow...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Old Friends
HAHA
Waffles you loveable scamp and Anita you total tramp...
I look forward to hearing more from these two as they tend to be more super classy. http://www.wafflesnco.blogspot.com
Anyway, my frustration has subsided for the time being, but I think it happened in a way that some people would describe freezing to death. I'm a little nervous for my open mouth surgery tomorrow, but at least i'll be unsober-ish for the first time in years.
Last night I watched what Ashmo described "a Kate Episode" of Lost. It was not the greatest thing, and it seems to me that she should just make up her frakking mind already (or at least the writers should come up with a plausable reason for her to get back on an aeroplane and com to the island). Speaking of which where is Desmond? And Boone? And well I don't care too much for Charlie, but he's still fun to see from time to time...
Anita called me and wants to meet up for tea this evening, she has news which is exciting/worrisome but I can't tell which as she sounds super hung over (even in her texts). It should prove to be interesting.
More to follow
Waffles you loveable scamp and Anita you total tramp...
I look forward to hearing more from these two as they tend to be more super classy. http://www.wafflesnco.blogspot.com
Anyway, my frustration has subsided for the time being, but I think it happened in a way that some people would describe freezing to death. I'm a little nervous for my open mouth surgery tomorrow, but at least i'll be unsober-ish for the first time in years.
Last night I watched what Ashmo described "a Kate Episode" of Lost. It was not the greatest thing, and it seems to me that she should just make up her frakking mind already (or at least the writers should come up with a plausable reason for her to get back on an aeroplane and com to the island). Speaking of which where is Desmond? And Boone? And well I don't care too much for Charlie, but he's still fun to see from time to time...
Anita called me and wants to meet up for tea this evening, she has news which is exciting/worrisome but I can't tell which as she sounds super hung over (even in her texts). It should prove to be interesting.
More to follow
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Frustration
So Outweek/Clusterfrak week is in full swing, the wine and cheese went well-ish, and the concrete didn't happen. I am out $95 for the consultation with the dentist and because insurance won't be able to respond in time I'm on the hook for $1300. I'm okay with these things though. 2 major pieces of art have been installed at Canada Line stations (and I still need to get the plaques for these pieces done). The last one won't get done until after the Olympics start. nbd
No, the big deal is when people say they're going to do something then don't. I'm guilty of this too, but at least I'm aware of my deadline and know I still have x number of days/weeks to deal with things.
Currently I'm waiting to hear back from about 3 different people about some major components of the Semi-formal dinner/dance on Thursday and no one seems to be capable of answering their phone/checking their voicemail/responding to emails. I understand that people are busy, especially with this olympic thing starting on Friday, but if you're getting paid to do a job, DO YOUR JOB!
[/rant]
In other news the wine and cheese was a good time, it wasn't super well attended (<30 people) but everyone seemed to have fun/mingle. Afterwards the keynote speaker, Dr. Chris Shelley, gave a brief, academic speach about the importance of queer (while imploring us to take more women studies courses).
I had Dr. Shelley as a prof two years ago for my introduction to gender relations and I won't lie it was my favourite course out of the ~45 or so that I've taken thus far.
I was pleasantly surprised that not only did it have some very interesting content, but also that it was so relevant.
WHAT? Women's studies and relevant being used in the same sentence? Yes I'm afraid so. I won't spend too much time today raving about it because books can be written (and have been in fact) about the importance of feminism and how it relates to queer theory... and the homosexual agenda
I love that term, homosexual agenda. It's all part of a larger master plan. This marriage thing? It's really just normalising us (we don't care about the collateral damage it does). From there we can infiltrate the public schools and teach the young children about our lecherous and immoral lifestyle choices. Once those are in place I know I'm personally going to be working towards marrying my desk and lamp...
As I told a dear friend a few weeks ago, being queer is either caught or taught.
[/fodder for religious persecution]
Speaking of gay marriage...
The National Organisation for Marriage (NOM) is calling foul on the tremendously important (and likely appealed) court case for repealing Prop 8. They're alleging that the Judge Vaughn Walker is letting his bias affect his reasoning. They call into question his homosexuality which is an "open secret."
Just so we'requeer clear, a straight man ruling on gay marriage is okay, whereas a gay man ruling on gay marriage is a farce and mockery of the courts.
I won't get too much more into it, but I recommend my (nonexistant) readers to read up on it at 365gay or some other reliable source, then contrast this with the coverage from Fox news/Focus on the Family for some levity.
Carry on...
No, the big deal is when people say they're going to do something then don't. I'm guilty of this too, but at least I'm aware of my deadline and know I still have x number of days/weeks to deal with things.
Currently I'm waiting to hear back from about 3 different people about some major components of the Semi-formal dinner/dance on Thursday and no one seems to be capable of answering their phone/checking their voicemail/responding to emails. I understand that people are busy, especially with this olympic thing starting on Friday, but if you're getting paid to do a job, DO YOUR JOB!
[/rant]
In other news the wine and cheese was a good time, it wasn't super well attended (<30 people) but everyone seemed to have fun/mingle. Afterwards the keynote speaker, Dr. Chris Shelley, gave a brief, academic speach about the importance of queer (while imploring us to take more women studies courses).
I had Dr. Shelley as a prof two years ago for my introduction to gender relations and I won't lie it was my favourite course out of the ~45 or so that I've taken thus far.
I was pleasantly surprised that not only did it have some very interesting content, but also that it was so relevant.
WHAT? Women's studies and relevant being used in the same sentence? Yes I'm afraid so. I won't spend too much time today raving about it because books can be written (and have been in fact) about the importance of feminism and how it relates to queer theory... and the homosexual agenda
I love that term, homosexual agenda. It's all part of a larger master plan. This marriage thing? It's really just normalising us (we don't care about the collateral damage it does). From there we can infiltrate the public schools and teach the young children about our lecherous and immoral lifestyle choices. Once those are in place I know I'm personally going to be working towards marrying my desk and lamp...
As I told a dear friend a few weeks ago, being queer is either caught or taught.
[/fodder for religious persecution]
Speaking of gay marriage...
The National Organisation for Marriage (NOM) is calling foul on the tremendously important (and likely appealed) court case for repealing Prop 8. They're alleging that the Judge Vaughn Walker is letting his bias affect his reasoning. They call into question his homosexuality which is an "open secret."
Just so we're
I won't get too much more into it, but I recommend my (nonexistant) readers to read up on it at 365gay or some other reliable source, then contrast this with the coverage from Fox news/Focus on the Family for some levity.
Carry on...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Review
Apart from watching Ratatouille with B's family (delightful and with a positive message), I got to see some good old fashioned TV this weekend.
On the docket:
Caprica [S01E03]
...sometimes faith can be a victim of chance...
I like my sci-fi. It's no secret that I'm a tremendous dork at one point owning about 50 Star Wars novels (just one nerdism) And as hinted in my title of my previous post (clusterfrak) I love battlestar galactica, or at least the reimagined series anyway.
While it languishes in the popularity because it is maligned in pop culture as nerdy, it has got to be one of the safest bits of sci-fi in recent memory. While it may be because the style, tone, characters, and plot of the show are so dark and intriguing, and the relevance that it has that makes it really engaging... plus the actors are all gorgeous.
Anyway, this lovely little spin-off is a prequel that departs from the dire atmosphere of BSG and yet retains the complexity of characters. It's a sci-fi family drama, set decades before the first cylon war (when Bill Adama is only a boy) we get a glimpse at how humanity really frakked it up. While I can't do the narrative justice, I strongly recommend both BSG and Caprica.
Why I like sci-fi so much is that it can release the important elements of our reality to challenge our views (while giving us a healthy dose of escapism). I won't speak to the right/wrong of it all because it's so deep and complex, but one of my favourite aspects of Caprica is the Tauron enforcer (and uncle to Bill Adama) Sam...
Who is in a loving and stable relationship with a man and in this world where the term gay doesn't exist, no one has a problem with it... Not that they could really, as Sam is an assassin.
Skins [S04E01]
...Everybody Jesus says shut up!...
I like this show, sometimes. I won't get too much into the plot of this episode because I don't really remember all the nuances or names of the show. However, I will attest that it is an interesting show. Heavy into drugs, sex, and all things immoral, but it's the characters which made me like it. When they aren't being tremendously self-destructive, they're hilarious ("I'm not a hobby Tony, you're not taking up canoeing"). Tony, Effy, and Maxxie have got to be my favourites.
The first two because they're ridiculous and mostly evil scheming and plotting, they're really quite delicious to watch.
Speaking of delicious, that's why I like Maxxie.
Interestingly he's always just one of the guys despite being gay, and although he isn't as provocatively whorish as Tony, he does get some hot scenes.
In the second generation (like Degrassi, the show writes characters out and replaces the cast, and for skins at the end of season 2 the first gen made their exit) there are lesbians and more frakked up characters. There's talk of making an american version which I can't help but think is a bad idea.
Anyway, I've written two posts tonight and was hoping to sleep at a reasonable hour in order to get a jump on my wonderful week...
Stay frosty...
On the docket:
Caprica [S01E03]
...sometimes faith can be a victim of chance...
I like my sci-fi. It's no secret that I'm a tremendous dork at one point owning about 50 Star Wars novels (just one nerdism) And as hinted in my title of my previous post (clusterfrak) I love battlestar galactica, or at least the reimagined series anyway.
While it languishes in the popularity because it is maligned in pop culture as nerdy, it has got to be one of the safest bits of sci-fi in recent memory. While it may be because the style, tone, characters, and plot of the show are so dark and intriguing, and the relevance that it has that makes it really engaging... plus the actors are all gorgeous.
Anyway, this lovely little spin-off is a prequel that departs from the dire atmosphere of BSG and yet retains the complexity of characters. It's a sci-fi family drama, set decades before the first cylon war (when Bill Adama is only a boy) we get a glimpse at how humanity really frakked it up. While I can't do the narrative justice, I strongly recommend both BSG and Caprica.
Why I like sci-fi so much is that it can release the important elements of our reality to challenge our views (while giving us a healthy dose of escapism). I won't speak to the right/wrong of it all because it's so deep and complex, but one of my favourite aspects of Caprica is the Tauron enforcer (and uncle to Bill Adama) Sam...
Who is in a loving and stable relationship with a man and in this world where the term gay doesn't exist, no one has a problem with it... Not that they could really, as Sam is an assassin.
Skins [S04E01]
...Everybody Jesus says shut up!...
I like this show, sometimes. I won't get too much into the plot of this episode because I don't really remember all the nuances or names of the show. However, I will attest that it is an interesting show. Heavy into drugs, sex, and all things immoral, but it's the characters which made me like it. When they aren't being tremendously self-destructive, they're hilarious ("I'm not a hobby Tony, you're not taking up canoeing"). Tony, Effy, and Maxxie have got to be my favourites.
The first two because they're ridiculous and mostly evil scheming and plotting, they're really quite delicious to watch.
Speaking of delicious, that's why I like Maxxie.
Interestingly he's always just one of the guys despite being gay, and although he isn't as provocatively whorish as Tony, he does get some hot scenes.
In the second generation (like Degrassi, the show writes characters out and replaces the cast, and for skins at the end of season 2 the first gen made their exit) there are lesbians and more frakked up characters. There's talk of making an american version which I can't help but think is a bad idea.
Anyway, I've written two posts tonight and was hoping to sleep at a reasonable hour in order to get a jump on my wonderful week...
Stay frosty...
Clusterfrak
So this week is going to be a bit of a clusterfrak (bsg anyone?)
Monday
Tomorrow I've got a dentist appointment first thing, which is just a consultation for getting my wisdom teeth out so nbd. Then I've gotta run to class, cast some concrete samples (which is huge stress because its apart of a project worth 75% of my grade). The problem is that we don't really have a project but since concrete needs 28 days to cure to the strength we need to test... ugh i spend the better part of the last 3 years talking concrete, it's the bane of my existance.
After that, fly (figuratively) to Marine Drive to oversee an art install (some big statues), which is not really that critical because there are other more important people involved on site. But I still have to put in like 5 hours tomorrow at work. I (usually) work in an office where the dynamics are pretty unusual and in the next month or so we've got to change our location and I get to spearhead the filing (a system I inherited and only vaguely understand) and moving. So boo...
Then its back to school because it's Outweek! That means its the gay week on campus and I helped to organise two events. The first is a tea and coffee/wine and cheese where i figured out all the food/drink, unfortunately I won't be able to make the flag raising/tea and coffee, and will be just in time to help w/ the schmoozing at the wine and cheese. Hopefully I'll be charming and everything will go smoothly.
Then home to relax and see the Vivi (ma kitty) who is currently resting his head on my keyboard... its cute.
Tuesday
Another art install at work. This one is all on me, as the upper up's won't be on site. So I get to save the public from themselves (sigh, its shocking how much they can endanger themselves). Then more moving logistics probably, and some minor projects for the art.
Wednesday
Work again... then I have to run to a concrete plant for a field trip with school (boooo), then some other random project work for school.
Thurs
Wisdom teeth out! I'm going to be IV sedated which is a good time, but I'm taking the next 2-3 days off because of the pain. On the plus side I'm going to be high as a kite for the morning.
Unfortunately that's the night of the Bash which is the other event I've got to deal with for Outweek. It's a dinner dance for all the gays like a prom or something. Unfortunately I've still got to line up the sound system and lights so it will need to be done before hand (ie before i get my teeth out).
Friday is a rightoff because of the pain. But its the opening ceremonies for the olympics (frak) and so I'm basically going to need to be in hibernation mode anyway (its gonna be a huge pain getting anywhere). I'll probably end up writing an entire post about the olympics later.
In the meantime, my kitty is being ridiculously cute and it's time I made some tea so i'm going to enjoy the finer things...
More to follow...
Monday
Tomorrow I've got a dentist appointment first thing, which is just a consultation for getting my wisdom teeth out so nbd. Then I've gotta run to class, cast some concrete samples (which is huge stress because its apart of a project worth 75% of my grade). The problem is that we don't really have a project but since concrete needs 28 days to cure to the strength we need to test... ugh i spend the better part of the last 3 years talking concrete, it's the bane of my existance.
After that, fly (figuratively) to Marine Drive to oversee an art install (some big statues), which is not really that critical because there are other more important people involved on site. But I still have to put in like 5 hours tomorrow at work. I (usually) work in an office where the dynamics are pretty unusual and in the next month or so we've got to change our location and I get to spearhead the filing (a system I inherited and only vaguely understand) and moving. So boo...
Then its back to school because it's Outweek! That means its the gay week on campus and I helped to organise two events. The first is a tea and coffee/wine and cheese where i figured out all the food/drink, unfortunately I won't be able to make the flag raising/tea and coffee, and will be just in time to help w/ the schmoozing at the wine and cheese. Hopefully I'll be charming and everything will go smoothly.
Then home to relax and see the Vivi (ma kitty) who is currently resting his head on my keyboard... its cute.
Tuesday
Another art install at work. This one is all on me, as the upper up's won't be on site. So I get to save the public from themselves (sigh, its shocking how much they can endanger themselves). Then more moving logistics probably, and some minor projects for the art.
Wednesday
Work again... then I have to run to a concrete plant for a field trip with school (boooo), then some other random project work for school.
Thurs
Wisdom teeth out! I'm going to be IV sedated which is a good time, but I'm taking the next 2-3 days off because of the pain. On the plus side I'm going to be high as a kite for the morning.
Unfortunately that's the night of the Bash which is the other event I've got to deal with for Outweek. It's a dinner dance for all the gays like a prom or something. Unfortunately I've still got to line up the sound system and lights so it will need to be done before hand (ie before i get my teeth out).
Friday is a rightoff because of the pain. But its the opening ceremonies for the olympics (frak) and so I'm basically going to need to be in hibernation mode anyway (its gonna be a huge pain getting anywhere). I'll probably end up writing an entire post about the olympics later.
In the meantime, my kitty is being ridiculously cute and it's time I made some tea so i'm going to enjoy the finer things...
More to follow...
Friday, February 5, 2010
Alone in the Crowd
I don't mind saying that I've been depressed for most of my life. It surges and wanes, but by and large there's a low level of despondancy which stays with me. The reasons aren't long but I don't feel like getting into them right now. Instead I want to talk about the one reoccuring issue that I have (haha okay so one of the issues that I have).
This is my propensity for becoming depressed in a crowd. I don't mean I'm agoraphobic or anything, but rather, I find it difficult to be in phase with the emotional atmosphere around me. Concerts are bad for this. In fact I've left two shows early because I realised just how out of place I am. It makes me sound like a downer (which I am :P) but I'll stop watching the band for a moment and see how everyone else is having so much fun. And then I break, I start obsessing about it. I stop working right, stop faking enjoyment, and I start to pretend to be tired or ill and say I have to leave.
I realise my departure has caused some hurt feelings in the past, and some concern to be sure. I sometimes think that it stems from highschool (as all too many neurosis do). This particular issue was at a battle of the bands. There were three bands, one was a tremendous joke to everybody but themselves, one was a friend of mine who used to write some really great acoustic songs, and the last was a garage band. The garage band was probably the best performers (although i did enjoy each act for different reasons). The problem came as I watched one of the guitarists... It was someone I knew that I had had a tremendous crush on. Super cute, and always so nice to me (despite being popular and a jock). Anyway I watched him and felt guilt.
Guilt gets me everytime. This particular time I think I felt guilty because it felt inappropriate to like a guy. Now I had been out for awhile at that point, and was usually comfortable in my skin. But I knew that if he had known how I felt about him he would be at the very least, uncomfortable if not down right grossed out. I'm sure we've all done this from time to time, felt that shame when you're on shakey ground about who you are.
So guilt compounded with an innate feeling that you're different/alone/unwanted left me in some pretty awful moods in the past. Even now, in a room full of my peers (many of them queer) I feel out of place. So as I look back on it, I do my best to think that I'll get better.
Carry on
This is my propensity for becoming depressed in a crowd. I don't mean I'm agoraphobic or anything, but rather, I find it difficult to be in phase with the emotional atmosphere around me. Concerts are bad for this. In fact I've left two shows early because I realised just how out of place I am. It makes me sound like a downer (which I am :P) but I'll stop watching the band for a moment and see how everyone else is having so much fun. And then I break, I start obsessing about it. I stop working right, stop faking enjoyment, and I start to pretend to be tired or ill and say I have to leave.
I realise my departure has caused some hurt feelings in the past, and some concern to be sure. I sometimes think that it stems from highschool (as all too many neurosis do). This particular issue was at a battle of the bands. There were three bands, one was a tremendous joke to everybody but themselves, one was a friend of mine who used to write some really great acoustic songs, and the last was a garage band. The garage band was probably the best performers (although i did enjoy each act for different reasons). The problem came as I watched one of the guitarists... It was someone I knew that I had had a tremendous crush on. Super cute, and always so nice to me (despite being popular and a jock). Anyway I watched him and felt guilt.
Guilt gets me everytime. This particular time I think I felt guilty because it felt inappropriate to like a guy. Now I had been out for awhile at that point, and was usually comfortable in my skin. But I knew that if he had known how I felt about him he would be at the very least, uncomfortable if not down right grossed out. I'm sure we've all done this from time to time, felt that shame when you're on shakey ground about who you are.
So guilt compounded with an innate feeling that you're different/alone/unwanted left me in some pretty awful moods in the past. Even now, in a room full of my peers (many of them queer) I feel out of place. So as I look back on it, I do my best to think that I'll get better.
Carry on
Late to the party
My friend got swine flu last month... Last month! Who does that? It's like if I got SARS or worried about Bird Flu... Terribly anachronistic, but then I shouldn't talk.
I really shouldn't talk actually, because when I do I often get judgey and people in glass houses shouldn't be judgey.
Apart from blogging, I managed to catch onto a number of fads late in the game. I only tried World of Warcrack in '08, I bought my first pair of running shoes last weekend, and a bunch of other sad little confessions. OH, the big one is that I didn't have internet in my house until 2007... That's right, I have only had access to internet in the place where I live for the past 3 years (and this in largely only a function of my moving out of the house). So I suppose I can blame my geographic constraints on my late arrival, but oh well.
I don't mind it really, coming late to the party, what I do mind is that I feel terribly self-conscious about it. When I had my brief stint playing WoW I didn't know any of the jargon or conventions and I imagine that I pissed a lot of people off because of this. I used to worry about this sort of thing a lot. Not because I may find that I'm not as smart as I thought I was, but because I'd get terribly embarassed. Much the way that the bf doesn't like to wear my blazers because he'll feel out of place (they look hot on him).
Anyway, that's probably one of the reason's why I'm finding posting on my blog difficult (waaaaaaa). Mostly that I get discouraged because what I'm saying is terribly self-involved (and dull) or about some event/topic which I find myself tremendously underqualified to discuss.
Le shame...
Re reading that makes me sound like a bit of a bumpkin, but I did grow up on a farm with just as many guns in the house as people so (and there were a lot of us in that house)... Cue banjo music.
I really shouldn't talk actually, because when I do I often get judgey and people in glass houses shouldn't be judgey.
Apart from blogging, I managed to catch onto a number of fads late in the game. I only tried World of Warcrack in '08, I bought my first pair of running shoes last weekend, and a bunch of other sad little confessions. OH, the big one is that I didn't have internet in my house until 2007... That's right, I have only had access to internet in the place where I live for the past 3 years (and this in largely only a function of my moving out of the house). So I suppose I can blame my geographic constraints on my late arrival, but oh well.
I don't mind it really, coming late to the party, what I do mind is that I feel terribly self-conscious about it. When I had my brief stint playing WoW I didn't know any of the jargon or conventions and I imagine that I pissed a lot of people off because of this. I used to worry about this sort of thing a lot. Not because I may find that I'm not as smart as I thought I was, but because I'd get terribly embarassed. Much the way that the bf doesn't like to wear my blazers because he'll feel out of place (they look hot on him).
Anyway, that's probably one of the reason's why I'm finding posting on my blog difficult (waaaaaaa). Mostly that I get discouraged because what I'm saying is terribly self-involved (and dull) or about some event/topic which I find myself tremendously underqualified to discuss.
Le shame...
Re reading that makes me sound like a bit of a bumpkin, but I did grow up on a farm with just as many guns in the house as people so (and there were a lot of us in that house)... Cue banjo music.
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