The Space Between

So I'll give a quick weekend update before I get into my case of the Mondays.

Friday Wanker came over for wii and drinks (we were gonna rockband, but we didn't have enough batteries apparently) So we just wii'd, smash bros mostly. Twas fun.

Sat I had the Health and Leadership conference day 3, it was another fun filled and informative day. Afterwards we did outreach and I got to go to the Pumpjack (a nice little bar which is largely avoided by young people because it is mostly preceived as a bear/leather/old people bar). I had fun there, the guys were quite friendly which is refreshing. After that the sailor sluts and I went to the O where I got my dance-on on stage... It was probably the highlight of my weekend.

Unfortunately that means it was downhill from there...Sunday was the last day of the conference and it showed. People were hungover and tired, the information didn't seem as interesting and the whole time I felt some ennui. Then B and I went to see Remember Me, with Robert Pattison. Don't see it. Really, its awful and contrived and manipulative.

Anyway, that's my weekend, as I said Sunday I started feelign a little down. At first I just thought I was cranky/affected by the alcohol and lack of sleep. But then I felt the too familiar feelings/neurosis come creeping in.

So I just started staring off into space having a whole gamut of fun thoughts. The good ones were thoughts of worthelssness/that it won't get better, the usual. The bad ones were... well they were bad.

Fortunately I'm somewhat of a pro at this, so while I don't have too much hope for the next few days, I know how to cope and escape for the time being. It's frustrating that I'm pretty much hard wired for this kind familiarity with depression, but at least I'm functional... that's a good thing right?

Oh well, in the end I'm sure it'll strengthen my resolve towards helping out all my little baby gays...